I didn’t feel like leaving town yesterday. I didn’t feel like leaving town today. I still had chores and packing and coffee to drink.
Chores took an exceedingly long period of time and then coffee took forever. We finally left and it was off to find the trail again — after a full four days off the 18 inch path I have been following forever. It’s the longest I’ve been away from the trail, and I was so nervous to go back.
My stress levels shoot through the roof when I am in town. There are so many chores and so much fun to be had. On top of all that, I simply want to relax. I want to do nothing. But it’s not so easy — there is the guilt that comes upon me when I am lazing around and all the endless “should”s that run through my mind.
The closer to take off, the more I stress. What if I forgot something? What if I don’t have enough food? What if I get a really important email and I’m in the woods and can’t answer?
Once I step on trail, the stress mind falls away. It is quiet and I can think. I feel soothing serenity. I feel totally normal.
Today was no exception. I put one foot in front of the other and hiked my way forward, watching Felix’s fast body recede into the distance. I didn’t worry — she would stop and wait eventually. But for now, it was me, in the woods, at peace.