Ariel Chilton’s Tales from the Rampage

Ariel Chilton is a vagabond, having lived on the road for two years, always seeking the next climb. She started a blog that has us choking on our coffee with shocked glee, and we’ve been dying to find out more about the genius behind it all. What follows is a rowdy interview that we’ll be revisiting again and again.

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Tell us what makes you tick in 30 words or less.

Mostly trying to distract myself thoroughly enough to keep from hiring someone to tattoo the Large Hadron Collider around my butthole. Which I guess you could also call, “living life to the fullest.”

You’ve been living on the road in The Rampage since December 1st, 2012. What prompted the move? Can you imagine living any other way?

In Portland we were doing a lot of whining about how cold we were all the time. I’m sure I didn’t make up this rule, but I’ve always followed it: If you are whining about something a lot, then you have to either fix it or shut up. Tough self-love. I love climbing so much I would marry it, so I basically did. We fleshed out what our dream lifestyle would be, made a budget, and saved up enough to do it for a year. After the first couple months of living in The Rampage, we realized we were only spending half of what we had expected, and actually had enough to travel for 2 years! Eli, being the reasonable one, suggested that if we want to live this way forever, we should find some way to make money again before we run out. I always miss my friends, and sometimes I even miss being connected to city water and power, but I’m not ready to stop rampaging, and I don’t know that I ever will be. I’m sure I could figure out how to be happy doing something else, and someday I might have to, but this is what lets me climb the most. Actually, we just got an exciting job where we tour around to motorcycle events around the country setting up demo rides of Can-Am Spyders. Since we will be making real money, and still have most of the year off, there is no end in sight for The Rampage, and you can look forward to many more disgusting blog posts!

The Rampage

Drinking a beer on the porch.


Climbing is a huge part of your life. What motivates that passion?

That is hard to answer because climbing is all I think about or ever want to do. I don’t know, I just feel like my body was put on this earth to climb, even though I don’t believe anybody’s body was put anywhere for any reason. Sometimes I feel like I should do something more important with my life… but I don’t. I guess a more answerable question would be, “How do you rationalize letting climbing control your whole life?” I wrote an entire blog post avoiding this topic (, but as an exclusive interview bonus, I’ll be honest with you all. The truth is that I know a lot of people who are miserable, doing things that they don’t care about, and not knowing what they want to do instead, or being afraid to change their life. I’m lucky enough to know what I want to do with my life, and climbing’s sharp claws have such a hold on me that I almost don’t feel like I have a choice. Since I get to do what makes me happy, I am in a much better position to make other people’s lives happier.


Happy place.


You’ve started a super-fun blog. What is your mission, and who do you want to reach?

Well, thank you! I started my blog in an effort to try to remember all of the adventures we have with The Rampage, and luckily it doubles as a creative outlet. As far as who I want to reach, anyone who wants to be reached! That’s a horrible answer, I’m sorry, I’ll do better. My favorite things to read are ones that leave me with the feeling that I’m not alone, that someone else understands me and wants the same things I want out of the world. I want to give people that feeling. Basically, I just want to create something that inspires other people to make themselves happy. Maybe for some of us the best thing we can do for the world is just to find something that makes us happy and isn’t fracking.

double toe hook

Happy place.


Define adventure.

Adventure is any way that you make the world more interesting for yourself. It doesn’t have to be a dangerous expedition; adventure can be found anywhere you are, even if you only went to your backyard to dig a hole for graywater, but in the hole you find the biggest grub ever, and now you get to spend time with a friend laughing at the tiny birds trying to carry it away.


The big guy.


If you could give one piece advice to everyone in the world, what would it be?

Treat your life like it’s a fancy Vegas buffet, and you are just some asshole trying to get your money’s worth. There is only so much room in your stomach, so if you aren’t TOTALLY loving the prime rib, then stop eating it and go pile up on crab legs or something! You know? Stay away from the bread, it’s just filler food!

nacho claws

Love, Nacho Claws <3